The practice of tonglen meditation is a profound and transformative method within the Buddhist tradition. It involves the powerful act of breathing in the suffering of others. In turn, we breathe out our own well-being and happiness towards them. Consequently, this practice goes against the conventional tendencies. Most people want to grasp at happiness while avoiding discomfort. However, this ancient practice offers a way to develop immense compassion and awaken our interconnectedness.
The Essence of Tonglen Meditation
At its core, Tonglen meditation embodies the very spirit of the bodhisattva ideal. This ideal emphasizes the commitment to relieving the suffering of all sentient beings. Unlike many forms of meditation, Tonglen directly confronts suffering instead of trying to avoid it. Through the practice, a practitioner visualizes inhaling the negativity. This may include pain, fear, sadness or any kind of distress that is being experienced. Subsequently, we do so in order to help relieve those pains of suffering. Then, we breathe out positive qualities, for example, joy, peace and healing, towards those that suffer. Through engaging in such activity, we diminish selfishness, and create an empathetic bond with other people. In this process of exchange, the distinction between “self” and “other” starts to become blurred.
How to Begin Your Tonglen Practice
You begin this meditation by taking some deep, grounding breaths to center the mind. Next, call to mind a person you care about who may be struggling. Envision their suffering taking the form of a dark smoke as you breathe in. Don’t forget, there should be intention for that suffering to transform. With that thought in mind, let the darkness be purified into light, warmth, or some other type of positive essence that heals as you breathe out. Imagine, the positive light being a soothing balm flowing outwards towards the other. Once the visualization is somewhat clear in your mind, then the act can be extended to encompass those you may find difficult. Also, try those neutral people or even encompassing the suffering of all sentient beings. Initially, this may seem intimidating. However, the process is incredibly heart opening and provides a valuable lesson.
Working Through Resistance in Tonglen
As you continue to engage in your practice, you might feel resistance, maybe even a kind of emotional tightness, within your heart. Such feeling of reluctance or discomfort can actually be an indicator of the power of Tonglen. Indeed, this act might be triggering emotions within your awareness. Furthermore, these are natural sensations. Instead of trying to push through or disregard them, observe the sensations with compassion and acceptance. Therefore, as you gently embrace your inner feelings and do so without judgment, then space and relief naturally begin to occur. Remember, tonglen meditation isn’t about immediately changing your emotions. Instead, its a matter of providing compassion and loving kindness with the suffering, no matter if it is the others, or your own self. It may also be helpful to know that this is normal with beginning new meditation practices. Overtime and consistent practice is the most helpful process in growth.
Deepening Compassion with Tonglen
The essence of this meditation technique isn’t to solve the world’s pain through simply giving away all your happiness and well being. Instead, the intention lies in the cultivation of empathy. Through acknowledging the pain of others, it makes us realize that we’re not in this journey alone. The suffering that we experience is similar to the pains of others. As a result, this practice is to nurture the awareness of our shared experiences in suffering as sentient beings. The heart and essence of tonglen meditation involves creating that space of acknowledging the human condition with openness, acceptance and also equanimity. Furthermore, we start to develop more patience with our own human nature when we acknowledge we share that similarity. This shared process starts to melt our isolation by awakening us to an intimate interconnection. This meditation strengthens your emotional resilience. Therefore, a practitioner is equipped to more freely engage in other people’s joys and challenges.
Tonglen Meditation and Daily Life
As your regular Tonglen meditation strengthens and deepens your level of empathy, your life experiences will gradually improve as well. Because you feel a deeper level of interconnection and compassion, your interpersonal connections with other individuals may enhance too. Subsequently, you’ll be less likely to become entangled in self-centered activities or thoughts that may hold you in separation. Also, such daily mindfulness habits allows one to respond to other individuals from a grounded space rather than merely reacting emotionally to the situation. Therefore, applying Tonglen doesn’t simply occur on the cushion or a meditation mat. It is the practice of every-day application that makes this so potent. You can always practice the act while stuck in traffic or at work meetings where there are difficult situations present. With enough experience, practicing can always occur in moments of distress when feelings such as frustration may try to overcome one’s being. It should be emphasized that the consistent training of compassionate action is more important than whether you actually feel compassionate in that specific moment. That awareness itself will transform you over time.
Embracing Vulnerability in Tonglen
Engaging with another person’s suffering might feel counter intuitive. Afterall, we don’t naturally seek to dwell on negative experiences. Therefore, Tonglen encourages you to come out of the habit of protection, in which we tend to turn away from suffering to make it less apparent. Such tendencies and habits of our egos keep us trapped in limitation. With every compassionate exhale you’re letting down that barrier. Henceforth, you’re acknowledging that there’s shared experience that ties us together. Moreover, we might learn through the practice that the happiness of others actually influences and creates more personal well-being within ourselves. By accepting that vulnerability with the heart, one’s capacity to grow into the greater wisdom increases exponentially. There’s so much strength when one becomes open and authentic. This type of meditation actually brings us to our more genuine selves.
The Transformative Power of Giving and Receiving
Through giving and receiving during tonglen meditation, there’s great spiritual depth of insight that is available to the practitioner. You learn that our emotions are in constant flow, nothing stays stagnant or stuck forever. Both joy and pain have natural ebbs and flows. As a result of breathing in pain, then breathing out light, a deeper connection is cultivated with the universal field of existence, or emptiness in a Buddhist term. Therefore, the very acts of suffering and of receiving kindness are shown to be two parts of one interconnected process. Through this, practitioners find a lot more understanding when facing difficulty in life and their relationships. Moreover, people often comment how this act cultivates compassion on a deep and profoundly more connected level. Tonglen is very good to start your day with before embarking on various activity in daily life. As the body is getting into flow during your work, you might see yourself applying similar principles when you become faced with hard scenarios and people you do not understand. With persistent commitment to applying these principles, great harmony and awareness grows as part of an everyday normal practice.
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